Every May, I fly from New York to Austin, Texas, to compete in the annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships. Yes, this is a thing … and it’s serious. I’ve now attended five times and have twice come home with a third-place medal and once with a first-place trophy. Win or lose (though hopefully win — fingers crossed!), I know I’m going to have a good time. Why? Because the entire weekend is filled with like-minded nerds who love words … like me.

You might be scratching your head right about now, wondering why I’d be talking about my proclivity for wordplay rather than doling out the dating advice as I usually do. Have no fear … there is a method to my madness if you wait for it.

These events, or any special interest event, allow for two things: 1) invite people who have similar interests to come together and 2) provide a space for you to be in your element, doing what you love most. If I’m just walking around with my friend Lauren, for example, and I make a pun, there is a 100% chance that she will roll her eyes at me. Yet if I make a pun (well, a good one, and we can debate what makes it good later) when I'm in Austin, I'm celebrated. Seeing someone in their element is an attractive quality.

Clients ask me all the time how they can meet someone “in the wild,” or not on a dating site/app. While I’ll always suggest putting yourself in a place where you know other people are single and looking (speed-dating events, singles events, mixers, etc.), I’ll also suggest seeking out events or groups that cater to your specific interests. That way, you’re having a good time anyway, as I plan to next month. And if you happen to meet someone, it’s an added bonus.

I have heard numerous stories of people getting together — either in the short term or the long term — at these events. Same with hiking groups, TV watch parties, pickleball tournaments — you name it. Now, don’t simply join a group where you have no interest in the activity, because that defeats the purpose. For example, if you hate fishing, don’t sign up for the weekend fly fishing class in the hopes of meeting someone. You’ll not only be miserable (sounds like my worst nightmare, personally), but you will also not be showcasing the best version of yourself.

Over the years, I have personally gone on numerous dates with people I have met at these types of wordplay events (and other ones that interest me, like comedy shows, trivia nights or whiskey festivals) for the reasons I’ve shared. And then I already know one thing is for certain: They find me funny! As opposed to a former serious relationship I was in where whenever I made a “dad joke,” my boyfriend would essentially ignore me, leading me to jokingly (though not really) say, “At least pretend you think I’m funny.”

Never again.

Are shared interests the most important thing in a relationship? That’s debatable, depending on how you assign value to certain elements, but it sure doesn’t hurt.

Homework time: What’s your “thing” that gets you excited and puts you in your element? Now go do it! Keep your eyes peeled for dates, but more importantly, just be yourself and have fun. And wish me luck at my pun competition!

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