These Lemons Need To Be Squeezed
The Word Guy Blooper Patrol has plucked the ripest, juiciest mistakes from newspapers and magazines. Can you find the lemons?
1. "Palettes of new furniture were hoisted off trucks." Colorful items, no doubt. 2. "...the biggest selection of fabrics available for dying" Are they funeral shrouds? 3. "...more than 75 chandeliers and scones." Makes for a "light" meal.
4. "We're in it for the long hall." Makers of carpet runners? 5. "(A child) presented a rose as a special good-bye jester." Did it squirt water? 6. "The incident didn't seem to phase the pianist." Was he playing the "Moonlight Sonata"?
7."He sticks himself in the middle of teaming masses." And always gets picked last! 8. "Players wore midriff-bearing tops." A grizzly sight? 9. "Scheinblum remained cool, calm and collective." Was he a communist?
10. "A sort of right of passage..." An exit ramp? 11. "She snared a plump assignment for the newspaper." A column on dieting? 12. "The team is looking for a versatile swingman to compliment Mitchell." Nice shot, Mitch!
13. "He has flaunted authority all his life." Was he a dictator? 14. "(He asked) fellow council members to take the reigns." Were they the Three Kings? 15. "Starting your own business has a certain cache." Especially if that business involves burglary.
16."The whole situation is ripe with conflicts of interest." Some bad apples? 17. "I would like to tenure my resignation." Love me tender, love me sweet. Never let me go. 18. "High ceilings ornamented with dental work..." Veneers?
19. "Can the Giants find a way to their exercise their demons?" Let's get those pitchforks moving -- one, two, three, four! 20. "Put them in a boxing ring and let them wail on each other." The crying game? 21. "Taking the fear out of dentistry requires some slight of hand." A dentist with tiny fingers?
22. "He applied a turnakit to his left arm." Taken from a first-aid kit, no doubt. 23. "The golfer returned to take a peak at the trophy with his name on it." The high point of his career? 24. "The convicted politician joins a rouge's gallery of other corrupt officials." Were they all involved in a cover-up?
Corrections: 1. pallets 2. dyeing 3. sconces 4. haul 5. gesture 6. faze 7. teeming 8. midriff-baring 9. collected 10. rite 11. plum 12. complement 13. flouted 14. reins 15. cachet 16. rife 17. tender 18. dentil 19. exorcise 20. whale 21. sleight 22. tourniquet 23. peek 24. rogues'
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Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Amazon.com. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to WordGuy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
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