ArcaMax

When I was much younger than I am right now, I got a new job.

I'd been out of work for a while before I got the job, but I had some freelance work and some money in the bank, and I lived cheap.

A small number of people worked there, and it was at least a little cozy, and I was new in town.

And I wasn't there too long before it was almost Thanksgiving, and a boss asked me if I wanted to come to his house for Thanksgiving dinner, you know, because I was new in town and hadn't been working long.

"No, thanks," I said. "I'll be fine."

I was mad at that boss all the way home.

"What do I look like to him?" I thought. "Some poor slob who needs his charity?"

Yeah. It's not easy to do me a favor, and you better be damn careful how you make the offer.

I was raised on charming phrases like, "I pay my own way," and, "We don't take nothin' from nobody."

That's probably why, when Donald Trump announced he was going to take a $400 million airplane from Qatar to use as Air Force One, my first reaction wasn't to think about the Constitution and anti-bribery laws.

"I'm surprised he isn't too proud to take it" is what I thought.

This is America. You think we'd all be too proud. If we want the president to have a plane, we'll buy him a plane. If we can't afford a plane, he can take a bus.

Trump's taking the plane because wealthy, tacky real estate developers with inherited money always take the free stuff, and if free stuff isn't offered, they'll sweat somebody into coughing up some free stuff.

If you don't have much money, you gotta have pride, or you're a bum, and people know you're a bum, and they call you a bum.

So, you get by on what you have, and you won't let anyone help, and you eat a can of spaghetti for Thanksgiving dinner because it's easier to swallow the spaghetti than it is to swallow your pride.

But if you're rich, no one will think you're a bum no matter what you take. You're rich. It's impossible to be a bum. Poor people beg on the streets. Rich people beg in the suites. The only difference is that the handouts are bigger in the suites. I was stopped at a red light two days ago, and there was a guy begging on the median strip.

You think anybody stopped and gave that guy a $400 million jet? I don't, and he even had a sign that said "Homeless Veteran. God Bless," which might have been the most MAGA thing I'd seen that day, given that the sign mentioned God, America and veterans all on the same piece of cardboard. If that guy took a shower, and he used the words on his sign as a slogan, there are states where he could become governor.

What rich people know is that all money is green, free is good and never pay if somebody else offers.

Trump doesn't see taking the $400 million jet as dishonorable. He sees it as smart. He sees it as clever. He's beaten someone else out of something, and that is how you win. You don't win by telling the plumber you'll pay him the $300 for fixing the broken toilet as soon as you get paid, and then giving him the $300 as soon as you get paid. That's not honor. That's a sucker play because it ends with you having $300 less in your hand.

As for the plumber, who cares? If he had any brains, he wouldn't be spending his life paddling around in other people's urine. And yeah, I know you can make $100,000 a year as a plumber, but to a guy like Trump, the plumber's a loser. What's he got, a trade school diploma saying he can handle a plunger? Oh, Trump will take the plumber's vote because that's free stuff, but when it comes to paying him, let him get money from that guy who owes him $300 and will pay by the end of the week. Those two dopes deserve each other.

To find out more about Marc Dion, and read words by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle and iBooks.